In second grade I got a pair of sunset orange Garanimals corduroy pants, along with a matching turtleneck that had stripes in different shades of orange. The color melted my heart; I fell in love with it instantly. I couldn’t wait to wear the outfit and show it off. I didn’t like wearing the outfits my mother usually dressed me in for school. We were new immigrants from Ghana. My clothing and hairstyles seemed to always announce that about me. All I wanted was to fit in.
So, I wore this outfit to school and my friends complimented me on it, but during recess some boy teased me about looking like a bicycle reflector because my skin was dark and the color of my clothing, orange in many glorious shades, was bright. I felt ashamed, wanted the ground to swallow me. I never wore that outfit to school again.
It was the beginning of my trying desperately to fit in, to erase any hint of individuality, originality. I wanted my hair straightened, wanted to get only clothes that had been deemed fashionable by others, wanted to lose my accent so I could sound like everyone else, wanted to just disappear.
About thirty years ago, in my early 20s, I found this fabulous orange tunic while shopping with a friend. When I held it up to my body and looked in the mirror, everything about what I saw said “yes.” I looked over at my friend for her opinion. “I dunno,” she said, scrunching her nose. “I think it’s a little loud.” I was crushed, filled with the shame of my second grade self. Just as we were about to leave the shop, I turned around, got the tunic, then paid for it. “You really like it that much?” my friend asked in disbelief.
“It’s my favorite color,” I explained. I’d never said those words out loud, had never worn orange since elementary school. That was the beginning of a new journey, one of self-expression, not just through the words that filled my tattered notebook, but through every part of my life—my jewelry, hair, glasses, shoes, my home. Decades later, I am always authentically and unapologetically me. And my life is drenched in orange, a color that brings me immense joy. There’s nothing better than being true to who you are.
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